An article by Swayne

Hey there, fellow adventurers and slightly brain-deprived souls! It's that time of year again when the air gets a little crisper, the leaves start showing off their autumn colors, and your otherwise brilliant friends suddenly seem to be missing a few brain cells. Why, you ask? Well, because archery elk season is just around the corner, and it's like someone hit the 'Pause' button on their higher cognitive functions!

You see, there's something about the impending thrill of stalking elk through the wilderness that has turned some of our crew into half-brained, daydreaming, arrow-slinging enthusiasts. Let's take a gander at the reasons behind this phenomenon:

1. Mental Archery Workshops Forget Sudoku or crossword puzzles – our friends are flexing their brains in a new way. They're deep into mental archery workshops, mentally calculating trajectories, and practicing their aim by mentally tracking unsuspecting elk. It's like they're preparing for the most bizarre mental Olympics ever!

2. One-Track Minds Conversations that used to range from quantum physics to gourmet cooking now seem to have one focal point – elk. It's like the part of their brain responsible for multi-topic engagement has decided to take a hiatus, leaving room for only one topic – arrows, bows, and greater antlered creatures.

3. Bow Hunting Dreams When you find your buddy staring into space, chances are they're in their happy place – a serene forest with elk in the crosshairs of their mind's eye. They're probably perfecting their stealth moves and imagining the majestic beast that they're going to turn into an awe-inspiring tale.

4. Problem-Solving? Nah, Elk Planning! Remember when you'd turn to them for advice on life's challenges? Well, now they're more concerned with calculating wind directions and mimicking elk calls. Try asking them a tough question – you might get a response like, "Well, if I were an elk..."

5. The Universal Lexicon: Elk Speak Suddenly, your vocabulary is expanding with words you never thought you'd know. Cow calls, bugling, grunts and even occasional raking – you're practically bilingual now! It's like you've enrolled in an elk linguistics course without realizing it.

6. Camo Couture The fashionistas of the group have ditched their regular attire for face paint and camouflage. Not just in the woods, mind you – they're rocking camo to work, to social gatherings, and even at weddings! Because you never know when the perfect elk-spotting opportunity might arise, right?

7. Brain Fog? More Like Elk Fog! If you thought morning coffee was the key to mental clarity, think again. Our elk-focused friends are in a perpetual state of "elk fog." They might show up at your door wearing mismatched shoes and carrying a quiver instead of an umbrella.

So, as the countdown to archery elk season continues, remember that you're not alone in witnessing this curious phenomenon. Half-brained or not, we're all in this together – supporting each other's obsession with arrows, bows, and the unending, one-upping stories of years past.

In the meantime, if you need to engage in a conversation that doesn't involve elk tactics, remember there's still hope. Just wait for the season to pass, and you'll gradually see those brain cells regain their lost territory. Until then, embrace the elk fever and join our half-brained crew in counting down the days until archery elk season!